January 19, 2024

Brian was in his 50’s when he came to see me and he had only one problem. Well, he had more than one problem; he had lots of problems and they all related to lack of courage and lack of self-confidence.

You might not realise it, (unless you’ve experienced it) that a lack of confidence has far reaching effects. It can bring deep despair and a “depression” that affects every area of life. These days the word ‘depression’ is handed out to almost everyone who has difficulty dealing with some parts of life.

Like a rotten apple in the barrel, it only takes one apple to infect the whole barrel…and a lack of courage and confidence is the same – it infects every area of life.

Here’s Brian’s story

Brian had been self-conscious since his early childhood. He can still remember how embarrassed he got when people talked to him and how he always felt he couldn’t do as well as the other children of his age.

He didn’t mix well with others, so was inclined to kept to himself.

But there’s more and I wonder if you can relate to any of these …

  • You automatically feel inferior to others.
  • You admire people who are successful, but don’t believe you’re capable of being successful yourself.
  • You expect failure.
  • Have used illness as an excuse so you don’t have to tackle something.
  • Feel useless and have no feelings of self-worth or self-esteem.

If so, your problem is simple – just like Brian and you’re filled with self-doubt, you lack self- confidence.

So quick and simple to say and yet the lack of confidence, and having no courage, has a profound effect and influences every part of your life – it is the ‘rotten apple’ that affects the whole barrel.

Back to Brian…

As you can imagine, Brian never made much of his career – even though he was quite capable. He did his work and never any more. He’d never take risks or applied himself for promotion.

Brian sat at the back of the office and plodded along. He was not prepared to step ‘outside his box’ because he was absolutely convinced he would fail. He knew what he could do and he stuck to it.

Do you doubt yourself and lack confidence? 

It’s a blunt question I know, particularly as we might not know each other well. If you do then, relax, I know how you feel – because I’ve been there – more often than I’d care to admit!  And I have a solution for you, so read on. I’ve suffered with self-doubt and the knock-on effects of self-doubt all my life.

How well I remember trying to work out which remedy I needed when I first started to use the Bach Remedies. Not only did I find it difficult to identify how I felt but I couldn’t work on which remedy I needed. I didn’t realise then that we could have more than one feeling at once! But we do, all the time.  No wonder you find it difficult to identify how you feel.

A nervous breakdown

Brian had never been good at handling the stress of life and some years ago had a nervous breakdown.

How does a  ‘nervous breakdown’ show itself? For Brian, it showed at first as an extremely severe bout of debilitating ‘flu, which hung about for months. He was emotionally and physically exhausted. He just didn’t have the power: the confidence to face the world.

He was severely shaken by his bout of flu and he lost what little confidence he had and so had not been able to return to work.

During this time Brian felt very alone. He’d often felt lonely but didn’t have the courage or confidence to meet new people and try new things. He blamed himself for not doing what he felt he should have done to live a fulfilling life. He said he felt he was constantly living with an undercurrent of shame and guilt that he hadn’t done more with his life.

Not sleeping well

Brian wasn’t sleeping well either.  He would wake around 3 am with the same anxieties: the same worrying thoughts night after night.  He said it was rather like all his thoughts jumped onto a child’s merry-go-round and played there for hours.   He couldn’t find a solution to any of his problems and night after night he would be awake while his troubles played on the merry-go-round.

Brian was tired – exhausted in fact. He wanted to feel better and hoped to regain enough confidence to be able to go back to work. 

So I mixed the following remedies together, especial for Brian’s feelings.

The Courage and Confidence Mix

Larch – for self-confidence
Mimulus – gives courage to face the anxieties of life
Pine – to help heal the shame and guilt he felt for not trying to live a happier and more fulfilling life.
White Chestnut – to stop the unresolved thoughts from going around and around.
Olive – to help with fatigue and exhaustion
Gentian – as he was very discouraged from the set-back of his illness.

I’m sure you can relate to some of these feelings (if not all of them) and you can see how these remedies all work together beautifully to strengthen and give courage and confidence.

If you’re not sure to take the Remedies,  click here for the most effective way to take Bach Flower Remedies.

If you’re lack of confidence has gone so deep that its turned into depression, perhaps this article will help you.

Over to you…

As always, I love to hear from you, so please leave your comments in the Comment Box below the blog – and of course ask your questions too. 

I look forward to hearing from you. Rose

Choosing which is the best remedy for you can be tricky. To help make it easier for you, I designed some guides to help you choose. We’ve been through a traumatic time these last years, so I’m giving them to you as a gift.

The Bach Flower Guides can be invaluable to help you chose the remedies to help you and your family.

Click the image below to order your free guides.

About the author 

Rose Todd

  • Very timely for me. Thank you. X

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hi Maria. Glad it arrived on time! It’s a pleasure. Rose

  • Rose Todd says:

    Hello Rachel. Thank you for writing.
    I’m not surprisedyour daughter doesn’t like Rescue Remedy being spray into her mouth. I’m not a fan of sprays at the best of times. And the remedies are preserved in brandy and that’s a really strong taste for children particularlly, to deal with.
    I prefer to take the remedies in water.
    So I suggest you put 4 drops of Rescue into a Small glass of water. And then take about a dessert spoon of that water and put it in her drinks and maybe in her wet food too. Don’t worry about the diultion. The remedies are vibrational remedies, and once you put the Remedy into the water, the water “becomes” the remedy.
    She should have at least 4 doses a day.- but she can have it every hour, if you think she needs it take often. You can’t overdose and there are no side effects.
    Just in case you haven’t seen it – I wrote a blog that could be very helpful to you.
    Here’s the link.
    I hope you find this helpful.
    Once again, thank you for getting in touch.
    Warm wishes Rose.

  • Hi Rose

    Thank you so much for a great post. I am going through anxiety at the moment due to reasons I won’t go into here, but I have been taking my rescue remedy for it. It has come to my rescue countless times over the past 25 years. I am also taking, what I call the Bach happy essences, including Gentian, and also Larch for confidence. I wouldn’t be without them. They are fantastic.

    • Rose Todd says:

      Hello Karen. Thank you for writing, but I’m sorry that you’re going through a lot of anxiety at the moment.
      Somtimes without us realising it, our anxiety levels rise to almost panic, and that’s why Rescue Remedy works so well for us. It really is brilliant and so just that “rescues” us.
      Are you taking Mimulus too> Its for “known fears”. If you know what’s worrying you, then Mimulus will help.
      Gentian is for when you’ve suffered a set back (something doesn’t go as you expect) and you’re disappointed and discouraged. A really great remedy that isn’t used enough.
      And Larch is absolutely brilliant (ass all the remedies are when you need them(. 3 Days taking Larch and you can feel the difference!
      I’m glad to hear the Remedies are helping you. They’ve “stood by me” through thick and thin over the past 30 odd years. I too, never leave home without them!
      I hope your problems are resolved soon Karen. Rose.

  • Always very interesting and very informative thank you Rose
    Wonderful job

    • Rose Todd says:

      thank you krishna. Much appreciated. Take care. Rose

    • Rose Todd says:

      Thank you Krishna. Glad you enjoyed it. Rose

  • Pauleen Rachelle says:

    Hello Rose I do hope you are well and taking care of your self. I am still researching the human emotions. I see after each process that I u ndertake, using all the tools available that after clearing my stuff and transformation for others, there is always a period of vulnerability as the old patterns are gone and the new ones not yet in place. Transition can be a bit like shedding skin and painful and a difficulty of containing the inflow of new energy. Its a bit like no man’s land needing to build a new stable foundation as the old one is being broken up. I found your article very helpful. Thankyou for sharing your knowledge. Your worth loving .blessings Pauleen xx

    • Rose Todd says:

      Dear Pauleen, Thank you for your telling me about yourtransformational process. I’m glad you found the blog helpful.
      Well done on going through your healing processes. I’m not sure whick healing systems you’ve used, so I can only tell you about Bach Flowers.
      The only thing that’s real is our feelings. Emotions are everything. So healing our emotions is pramount to health, happiness and success.
      Our negative feelings and our behaviour are the indicators of the beliefs we have that have led us astray from the path of our soul.
      Bach Flower remedies are energic, vibrations healers and each one holds a particular ‘soul quality’. When you take the remedy indicated by your negative feelings, it retunes you, bring you back into alignment with your soul. After a remedy that has done its good work, you should feel happy and confident.
      If you don’t, then go again to your feelings (perhaps lacking confidence) and take the appropriate remedy that will bring you back into alignment.
      Look at how you feel now – and then studying your Bach books (or whatever system you use) and start that healing process.
      I hope this is helpful Pauleen. If you have more questions, please email me on [email protected]
      Take care. Warm wishes Rose

      • Pauleen Rachelle says:

        Hi Rose I have used max highstein trauma healing guided meditation. It’s a purchase but excellent. Also the Bailey remedies ,which complement the bach go into more esoteric depth, past lives. I am being psychically attacked by an angry neighbour who is projecting physical harm. What would you recommend. Thanks for everything. Love and blessings Pauleen xx

        • Rose Todd says:

          Hello Pauleen. It sounds as if you’re working with several tools at once. I must admit I like to only work with one tool; at a time. So can;re really make any comment with your progeress.
          I’d like to tell you something about the Bach Flowers you might not know. And also a little how how I think abiout life and use the remedies, if I may?
          You say you use Bailey’s remedies, “which coimpliement” Bach Remedies – and “go into moreesoteric depth’, past lives”.
          I am​ of the opinion that we only have this moment Now All there is, is Now.. We can only think /#’
          ‘and feel Now. We can think about yestrday – but we’re thinking about it Now. We can think about tomorrow, but we’re still only thinking Now.
          I also believe that we create our own reality and that our lives are created from our past -(whether it be negative or positive).
          I’m also of the opinion that if something in our past (or a past life) needs healing, it will be showing up today – in this Now moment.
          The Bach Flowers is a complete system of emotional healing and does not need to be shored up by another system. And they heal even the deepest of our feelings.
          If you take the remedies for how you feel Now, in this moment, you’ll find your feelings of being attacked (and all the knock on effects) will be healed.
          perhaps you didn’t realised that the Bach Remedies are so powerful?
          Thank you for leaving your commengts. I do appreciate them. Take care. Rose

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